I took a seat on our wooden coffee table. That was something out of the norm, but this night would be far from normal anyway. I went over the questions in my mind once again. Should I tell him what I think? Or, should I wait until I know for sure? Do I say the words now? Or, do I wait until after our plans for tonight are complete? What about our weekend plans – Would this change anything?
I looked over at him and saw his brown eyes scanning another news article. There was a smile that appeared across his face as he was reading something that intrigued him. His smile. I knew it would be even bigger when I shared what I was thinking. And that is when the words slipped out of mouth. So… I think I might be pregnant.
A big THANK YOU for the kind words with the last post! It meant the world to us to share our excitement with everyone! We are looking forward to the next few months and the arrival of Baby H!
Work tasks and sessions. A beach trip. Celebrating birthdays and holidays and anniversaries. All things I had planned during the spring/summer, but I had no clue that I would be doing all these things while pregnant. And pregnancy comes with a brand new set of symptoms.
The one symptom that caught me by surprise was exhaustion during the first trimester. I was completely caught off guard by how tired I felt every day. I had friends share about their pregnancies. I worked with expectant mothers in the past, and I heard about their journeys. I figured nausea and queasiness would exist with pregnancy, but the lack of energy completely surprised me.
If I exercised in the morning, I napped in the afternoon. If I had a session planned in the afternoon, I left my mornings free. I canceled our Blue Apron meal deliveries for a few weeks and opted for Charles to pickup takeout on his way home from work. I had no desire to cook by the end of the day. I read that I would feel tired during the first trimester, but I had no idea it would cause my productivity to decrease so much and that it would bother me that I was not as active as I usually was.
It is really hard to understand that you are growing a baby especially when your belly looks about the same and you feel the same. Yet, you know your days of looking and feeling this way will soon be changing.
When we first found out we were expecting, Charles surprised me with a pregnancy prayer journal. I flipped through the booklet, and one of the first sections that caught my eye was goals for pregnancy. To be honest I had not given “goals” much thought for pregnancy. Other than trying to eat healthy and stay active, my list was short. As I read through the section, I loved Val Marie’s thoughts on prayer and motherhood:
“One of my goals during pregnancy was to share more about the blessings of motherhood and the part we play in whether we enjoy it or not. I was tired of hearing I wouldn’t get sleep or how tough the first few weeks would be. I wanted to be encouraged and found myself wanting to do that for others. Spend some time in prayer and seek out what God has planned for you! Ask Him to open your eyes to the unique opportunities that will come only during this season of pregnancy.”
Those words stuck out to me and still do today. I am unsure as to what exactly they mean to me, but it reminded of me words that I cling to at least once week.
Use what you have and be creative. You have more than enough to make things happen.
Those are words I repeated to myself during the first trimester. Those are words I remind myself during every session. And those are words I have spoken at least once today as I prepped for this post. It is a challenge every day to be creative and find unique ways to use my gifts and talents. It is words like those above that give me the strength to keep challenging myself to create using everything I have in my life. Here’s to hoping this season of pregnancy opens my eyes to new and creative opportunities!
XOXO – Ashley
P.S. If you are interested in a prayer journal, you can check Val Marie’s Pregnancy Prayer Journal here.