I come from a Catholic family. A Catholic family filled with women who pray. I saw it growing up. I saw it at the dinner table. I saw it when tears were falling from eyes and sleep was being missed. I still see it today.
If you asked me to describe the women in my family, it would be simple. It is women who pray. So, there is no surprise that when I need guidance in my life that I turn to prayer. It is what I was taught growing up, and it is what I see today that provides the best results for me.
I was reminded this week of the power of honesty in words. How writing can help you see what you are really thinking.
I am a fan of monthly prayer journals. At the beginning of each month, I write in a prayer journal topics that I want to pray on. A prayer journal makes it easy to focus my time each morning when I say my prayers. I know exactly what I need to do.
Lately, I have been praying about my career. About my path. About knowing how to use my gifts and education. About knowing where my skills are needed. I have days where complaining and procrastination take more of my time and work is not completed like I need it to be. On the other hand, work can be so rewarding, especially days when I shoot.
I think about how I excited I am when I come home after a session. And the way I bury my head in his chest when I walk through the door. I tell him everything I did. How we got this shot. How this client said this. I tell him their story and how lucky it feels to be a part of it and how I hope my images do their story justice. I talk way too fast, and he patiently waits smiling at me as I rattle off about my happiness in the moment.
It is those days that I value my husband, and the fact that he can see my happiness even before I notice it exists. A person like me, I need that.
When I began writing this post, I was anxious to write about my career. It is a changing topic for me right now. The last several years my career has been filled with numbers and auditing and financial figures. Very stable. Very practical. In between the practical and stable parts, my mind craved more creativity. In addition to working in a financial position, I spend my time learning what it means to create and to find a market that wants your creations. It is challenging and freeing all at the same time. Entrepreneurship can leave you with the most incredible highs or the deepest lows depending on your decisions.
I flipped through my prayer journal last week and realized just how long I have been praying for clarity in my career. I am like everyone else. I question my decisions. I wonder if I am spending my time where it needs to be. I wonder if I need to make a change, and I wonder how to make that change. And, I wait because I have faith in the right time everything will work itself out.