This is for You

You have good bones. That’s just four words placed together. Yet, those four words can have such a strong meaning. I say that often when I begin to write. If one set of words can embody every thing that I am thinking, I know it has good bones. It has the opportunity to build and grow and change into something that can move. Something that can spark action.

This is for you. The four words that I couldn’t stop thinking about on my drive home last night. Not sure why. Not sure exactly what they meant for me. But they were the only four words on my mind last night. Four words. Easily great bones. This is for you.

This is for the girl who still feels twenty some days. This is for the girl who is living in uncertainty at the moment. This is for the girl who feels a little guilty for walking away. Maybe a little guilty for chasing life. This is for the girl who is searching for something. Something that will “wow” or whatever that may entail. This is for the girl who takes action and believes and trusts. This, beautiful, is for you.

***

I opened the car door and climbed into the tan passenger seat. You pulled out of the driveway, and we went on our way. As we passed the small streets, I listened. You always drove, and I always listened. I listened to everything – your words and the atmosphere of the places we passed and the old country songs playing on the radio. It was all I could do those days. It was all I knew I should do those days.

And your words. You talked about your plans and the future and what you wanted out of life. You knew you could create and do and live differently. You knew you could walk away and be okay. You always knew everything would be okay. You always knew you could leave. And I knew it would always leave me a little heart broken yet strong. So many times I sat there wondering how you had so much direction. How did you figure out what to do and where to go? And who gave you permission to tackle life that way?

I didn’t realize at the time how much those moments would mean to me. Or how they would still be a part of my heart so many years later. And all I wanted those days was permission. Permission to be imperfect. Permission to see life differently. Permission to think and question and chase. Permission to be persistent. Permission to dream and to explore and to live in uncertainty for a while if that is where life chose to take me. Live the life I wanted. Just permission.

***

I thought about you on my car ride home. I thought about all you ever wanted. And I thought about how much I just wanted to hand everything to you. Everything you ever hoped for. Everything you ever dreamed of. Everything you expected. I just wanted to place the life you wanted in your hands. I wanted so badly just to give you everything. Anything and everything.

But as I continued to drive, I knew it could never happen. I knew I could never place all of that in your hands. If I gave you everything, you wouldn’t be ready for it. It wouldn’t mean as much. And I know your hands were meant for you to build and to move and to do. I can’t let you miss any part of those actions. Those life changing moments. In my heart, I know this isn’t quite what you were looking for today, but it is all I have to give.

You, beautiful, need permission. Permission to think as often as you would like. Permission to question everything to learn the how and why and to build strong values in life. Permission to fail and to fight and to never give up. Permission to be persistent at whatever speaks to your heart. Permission to love and to give like you have never seen before. Permission to celebrate and be successful and be filled with joy. Permission to move and to learn. Permission to change. Permission to just be you. Just. You. That is everything.

If you are looking for permission to let go, it is okay. Let go. Let go of your past and your failures and the moments of disappointment. If you are looking for permission to release, it is okay. Release. Release whatever is weighing on your mind. It is over. It is done with. Let it go.

It is okay to jump. To fly. To change. To breathe. To be. To do. Any or all of those. Whatever your choice. And if you are worried, just relax. I know that you are headed in the right direction. If permission is what you are looking for today, I can easily give you that. You are moving. You are taking action. You are in the right moment. This, beautiful, is for you.