I love looking at photographs that take you back to the moment. They are so vivid and full of life that you can’t escape going back to just that moment in time.
Two weeks ago, I sat at the table overlooking the harbor. I sat there and took it all in. The view. The water. The cool breeze. The people slowly walking the boardwalk. And I sat at the table with a large pizza listening to the conversation of travel and adventure and what was coming in the next few months.
I was excited to hear all the details. I listened to the potential plans and the timing of how everything needed to work out. I listened to the ideas of what were possible and what were dream places if the opportunity presented. And it all flowed around the concept of time.
Occasionally, time just doesn’t match to what you want out of life. Like those days you spent pursuing your dream job only to realize that it wasn’t what you expected after being there a few short months. Or the days you held on to love a little to long after a broken heart only to understand that the relationship would have never worked out.
Perfect timing. You spend your days doing everything in your power to make your choices “perfect”. You know those choices define you. You believe that if you work hard enough and do everything correctly that time would be on your side.
But what happens when it doesn’t go as planned? When the life you spent so long building and shaping into what you want, doesn’t play out. No matter how hard you fight and work towards perfection you know it does not exist. The idea that you have no control over time finally sinks in. You can plan. You can hope. But timing will be your unknown.
You wonder if it is you. If maybe you should have done more with your life. Or been more present in conversations or taken more actions or maybe just loved more. Just more of anything. Those thoughts of doing more continuously play through your mind. You replay every action one by one wondering what you could have done differently.
At first, you doubt your choices. You close your eyes, and you just think. And slowly you realize that it has nothing to do with you. Or your choices. Or even your tiny actions. You get to the point where you realize that you have no control over time. You did enough. You were enough. And the fact is that your right timing will eventually appear.
I began creating this space with one week in mind that I knew would be the “perfect time” to launch everything. I worked for weeks getting ready. When the “perfect” days finally rolled around, it was one of the most chaotic weeks for me. There was no way launching this space would have been possible.
I was slightly heartbroken because I built up this perfect time in my mind. I worked extremely hard on everything and a part of me felt like I had failed to meet my intended deadline. Once I finally let go of when I wanted this space to happen, everything slowly fell into place. Day by day I worked to get the details in order. And when I woke up on Tuesday morning of this week ready to post, the timing immediately felt right. My right timing appeared only a few weeks after what I had initially planned. I waited, time came, and something beautiful was created in between.